A note to abeleds/neurotypicals:
I’ve been hearing a lot of statements lately from abeled and/or neurotypical people in my life that, while positive sounding, and said with good intention, are actually pretty fucking abelist.
Please don’t say things to me like:
“Everyone is equally capable”
“I went through Y and was able to accomplish X, therefore you should be able to accomplish X as well even though you’re going through Z”
“Saying you can’t do something is just you doubting yourself / refusing to live up to your full potential!”
“You are being negative/have a negative outlook” (said in response to me telling them about my limitations)
“Don’t you want to be normal?” (Their definition of normal being able bodied and neurotypical)
Consider instead:
“Not everyone is equally capable, and that’s okay!”
“My personal experiences do not equal correlation / are not universal. I should accept that only you know what you are or are not capable of.”
“I will believe you when you say you can’t do something and respect that you know your body’s limitations. Your potential is not limited to or defined by your ability to do X.”
“You are simply stating your capabilities and limitations, and asking me to listen. Any feelings you have regarding those limitations whether positive/negative/or neutral are valid. It isn’t my place to assume how you are feeling.”
“Disability and/or Neurodivergence are normal things that do occur in many humans. Being disabled and/or neurodivergent does not make you “other” and you should not feel that you have to confirm to such a strange and vague concept as “normality.” Furthermore, there is no good reason why disability and/or neurodivergence shouldn’t be included in the societal definition of “normal””
